Silly Bit of Comic Book Hero part 2

Silly Bit of Comic Book Hero part 2.
(Please see part 1 for the following to make sense)
Superman returned just as rapidly as he left. Batman and Spider-man watched him sit down with a look of disgust. He muttered something incoherent. ‘Sorry about that. I heard a distressing scream. Turns out it was just a bunch of teenagers mucking about. Have they any consideration?’
‘No, none at all’ Spider-man and Batman said in unison.
‘Now where were we?’ Spider-man asked taking a swig from his beer.
‘We were deliberating breaking out our nemeses.’ Batman reminded him.
‘Bruce, that would be stupid, immoral and against everything we believe in!’ Superman adjusted his glasses. ‘Ridicules,’ he stated, gaining a little composure, ‘We’ve given most of our lives to rid the world of those evil monsters. We cannot aid them in their escape.’
Spider-man sighed. ‘If we don’t, Clark, you’ll spend the rest of your existence picking lint from your Kryptonite bellybutton. Well, that’s if they had navels on your home planet. Here Clark, give us a look?’ Peter reached across the table pretending to lift up Superman’s shirt. Superman swatted away his hands.
‘Cut it out Peter. Leave him alone. This is a serious matter.’
‘You don’t have to tell me how serious it is Bruce. Penny hasn’t stopped nagging me since we got married. I’m doing everything to stay out of the house. And when I am out, she keeps ringing me wondering where I am and what I’m doing.’ His phone buzzed again. ‘See what I mean.’ Choosing to ignore it he continued, ‘How exactly do we break them out?’
‘The prison is impenetrable since Captain Miscellaneous enhanced security. It would be foolish to try.’ Superman intervened with a tone of finality.
‘Does this mean you are out Clark?’ Batman asked.
‘Out! I was never in. Something has to be done, but this, this is madness. How on earth do we bypass security? Hulk, Thor and Captain America are in charge not to mention Ironman and the Phantom. And that’s just for starters.’
‘What about you, Peter?’
Spiderman sat back as he considered. ‘There is something you are not telling us. What is it Bruce?’
‘Your spider senses are still working, I see. Very well, there is a way. You have left out one player Clark, one who is sympathetic to our cause.’
‘Well, who?’
Batman sneered and managed to emit a sound as close to laughter that the other two ever heard coming from him. ‘Me. I have been the major contributor to the security firm setup by Captain Miscellaneous. Without my resources, all those we captured would easily have escaped from the compounds traditionally used to hold them. Indeed, as such, I have the blue prints of the building from the early stages of its foundations, its structural progress, all the way up to its completion. I assure you there is a way to access all cells without being discovered.’
‘I’m waiting for a but.’ Spider-man added.
‘But…are you happy now? But we still need somebody to gain access through the frontal compound. We need somebody with experience who can move stealthily enough to bypass the Superheroes’ patrol. The latest advancement in speed censor-monitors restricts Clark from going in, and my costume is rigged with so many gadgets every censor in the place will set off as soon as I am within a hundred meters of the place. So, that leaves us with only one option. ’
Superman smiled and winked at Batman before turning his gaze at Spider-man.
‘No way. Forget it!’
‘Why not?’
‘Ugh…hello! Webs… you know the things I leave behind. They don’t dissolve for weeks. They’ll know it was me in a plasma beat.’
‘There’s always that. I never considered it’ Batman’s eyes darkened in contemplation.
‘How about Robin?’ Superman asked.
‘Are you kidding me? Since he hooked up with Flame, I can’t get him to do anything lately. If that was not bad enough, Diplomacy Girl’s Sidekick and henchman union has set his head in a whirl. Do you know what he demanded of me the other evening? Guess! …Only a month off to go cruising with Flame. Can you believe it? He hasn’t even been with him for three weeks and he’s talking about holidays away. I don’t know.’ Batman shook his head in disgust.
Superman nodded his understanding. ‘They are so eager to fly the coop, so to speak, that’s why I never bothered with a sidekick.’
Spider-man and Batman knew it was best not to mention Super Girl. Some stones were best left unturned.
Spider-man snapped his fingers. ‘I’ve got it. Somebody perfect for the job. A lesser hero. One who is always fighting above his weight.’
‘Well, who?’
‘Boy, you two are slow tonight. Wolverine! He’s perfect.’
‘Wolverine, yeah, he could work.’ Superman nodded his agreement.
‘How do we get him on board?’
‘Ah, that’s easy. Offer him a few kegs of beer and promise him one of the nemesis knows who his mother is. Simple as.’
‘Yes, it could work,’ Batman nodded now the idea was taking shape as something with potential. ‘Speaking of which, how is Wonder Woman?’ Superman asked.
‘Ah, keeping well. Alfred assures me she has stayed sober for the past eight years. He’s besotted with her, the old goat. In fact, he’s planning on proposing to her over the holidays.’
‘No way! The old dog. Cheers to him any way.’
Glasses were clinked and another round was served before the three Superheroes filed out of the bar. Each heading in different directions, but each with their minds on one thing: a way back.
Deep within the shadows of the bar, the debris from the table Superman destroyed began to move. Ever so slightly at first like singular raindrops on a window pane, splinters of wood slowly emerged and morphed together as they took shape. And like the raindrops, the more they united the quicker the steady flow of movement was. Soon the lone figure of a women stood in place of what was once a smashed up table. She smiled knowingly. With knowledge came power and with power came fame. The only dilemma Random Object Lady had right then was deciding with who the profits lay. She smiled as she slipped unnoticed out of the back door of the bar. Her mind lost in the possibilities of celebrity status.

#### Will our Superheroes really attempt to break out their nemeses?####
####Will Wolverine fall for their trap?####
####Will Robin and Flame’s romance crumble in ashes?####
####Will Alfred pop the question####
####What devious exploits has Random Object Lady got in mind?####
##### For all these answers and much, much more join us next time here on
—- Silly Bit of Comic Book Hero… Den-den DEN!!!!—–

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This entry was posted in humour, original fiction, short stories, silly bits. Bookmark the permalink.

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