A silly bit of Science Fiction by David Patrick OC.
Emperor Mumkin, ruler of the Stella Federation of Dipsic Seven and Supreme Overlord of the Lissfang Constellation, glanced with indifference at his Science Officer, Golac. ‘Is this it?’
Golac smiled proudly from two of his three mouths. His stump rose with pride amid an array of tentacles doubling his mass to twice that of the Emperor’s. ‘Yes Most Noble One.’ His gills flared yellow with pride while answering with his central mouth.
‘But there’s nothing here,’ the Emperor scowled with contempt as he flickered his Supreme eyes at the desolate lands before him.
‘Yes, Most Noble One,’ Golac’s upper mouth replied, ‘and it is all yours.’ He bent his stump in a bow. ‘Oh, such beauty to behold, Most Noble One.’
Emperor Mumkin considered terminating his Science Officer, but relented in the end. Instead he nodded permission for Golac to relax his tentacles.
The Science Officer plopped himself upon his stump. His ectoplasm glistened orange in reaction to the planet’s atmosphere. Splodges of the stuff pooled beneath his bulk as it wept in rivulets from his orifices. It was a sure sign of his pleasure.
The Emperor knew there was more to come and for once, feeling generous, decided to entertain him. ‘You insisted I left Pressor 111 for this?’ Mumkin let his glowing temples bubble green.
Golac smiles beamed even more. ‘Most definitely, Most Noble One. This is your new victory.’
‘I trust you find such a wonderment to your enjoyment. I, however, do not!’ Emperor Mumkin spewed the purple haze of his gill juice all over the Science Officer.
‘But there is more, Most Noble One,’ Golac added quickly while holding aloft a shimmering metallic receptacle for the Supreme Overlord to take.
Emperor Mumkin allowed a moment of intrigue to escape his disdain. Accepting the tube in one of his tentacles, he gave it a shake. ‘Feels a bit light.’
‘If Most Noble One will press the blue button all will be revealed.’
The button was pressed and a hatch slid open at the cylinder’s top. Inside, several tiny creatures were scurrying about. ‘Nasty looking blithers. What do you do with them?’
Raising himself back onto his tentacles, the Science Officer allowed his three mouths to smile once more. ‘Why, you can eat them.’ Two of his smiles dipped. ‘Apart from that, we’re not really sure.’
Emperor Mumkin cupped up a few of the creatures in his suction cupped limb and tossed them into his centre mouth. Chewing aggressively, he spoke with his lower left mouth, ‘Crunchy, and a bit meaty.’ He chewed some more before emptying the rest of the receptacle in to his welcoming remaining gob. ‘What do you call them?’
Golac’s mouths widened yet again in the knowledge that such interest meant he would remain alive for the time being. ‘Earthlings, Most Noble One.’
‘What kind of a name is that?’
‘It’s still a work in progress, I fear.’
‘And how many more of them can you harvest before we leave?’
‘Most Noble One will be pleased to know you have just devoured the last remaining ones on this planet.’
Emperor Mumkin’s gills flatulated. ‘Indeed, I have shown them honour. Golac, you did right to bring me here.’ Patting the Science Officer on his stump with a jewelled tentacle, he added, ‘Now, let us return to the ship. All this blue and green is making me rather queezy.’
Golac nodded, ‘Very good, Most Noble One.’